[LIT] Teasing and the Classroom Community

[Amy Holtzer]

Tena, I am the dean (as well as an English teacher) for the middle school division in a Jewish day school, and we take our moral education quite seriously.  I applaud your friend's response.  Would she share with us her powerful words?
 
In a classroom situation, I would have done the same thing.  We expect our students to behave appropriately and kindly.  We also expect bystander students to show correct behavior, by trying to avoid any support for the bully and by seeking adult intervention in difficult situations.
 
Privately, I ask the student(s) involved in the bullying behavior to "put on the shoes" of the victim.  In all cases, the incident is not over until I meet with the bully and the victim together.  They must look at each other and speak to each other, with my guidance, using each other's names to address each other.  (They cannot refer to the other child as he/she.)  The bully must apologize for the behavior, and must promise to try harder to avoid such behavior in the future.  If necessary, I work with the school psychologist to help the bully find ways to control himself and behave more kindly.  We also notify the parents of both the bully and the victim for all significant incidents.
 
As a follow up, I let everyone on our team know that the students had a difficult interaction, so that our teachers can look out for any further negative interactions between them.
 
Amy

________________________________

From: lit-bounces at literacyworkshop.org on behalf of TLP
Sent: Thu 11/30/2006 9:47 PM
To: Middle talk; Lit Site
Subject: [LIT] Teasing and the Classroom Community



I was so impressed with one of my co-horts today.
Yesterday, she had witnessed some of her students
making the kind of gestures and eye contact that
indicate they were making fun of another student
behind his back while he was talking. She could tell
it was not the first time and assumed it was an
escalating issue. She was so upset that she did not
address it at that point but thought about how to
approach her class.
Today, the young man in question ( who was new this
year) went to visit the lead teacher in a "routine"
check-in for new students. My friend had written two
pages of what she wanted to say to the rest of the
class. She shared with me and I told her to read it
verbatim as she had clearly and eloquently stated her
feelings in expressing her sadness and tremendous
disappointment. She reiterated and stressed how the
the classroom community in no way expects all students
to be best friends, However, they are to respect, care
and watch out for one another. Today she read the
message to her students during the young man's
absence. She then stated there was nothing up for
discussion but anyone was welcome to write or email
her if they had something to say. She said the kids
were extremely quiet and seemed to get the message.

What would/have you done in this instance? This type
of behavior is so common among middle schoolers and it
can escalate easily. I think her statement and her
stance was powerful and meaningful...

Tena



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